It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
