My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
