Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
