my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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