Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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