no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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