its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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