Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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