I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
