This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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