It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
