Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
