I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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