im six kinds of drunk right now
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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