I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
