Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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