So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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