Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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