If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
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"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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