Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts