it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
where does the pee come out of this thing
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars