apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
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You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room