definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize