Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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