Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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