BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize