I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
