so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
