she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
