I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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