I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
