Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
