Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
