Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
