dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
