Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize