what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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