I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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