Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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