lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
