Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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