I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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