It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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