I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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