its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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