I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
