I wish I could punch you in the face.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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