therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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