Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
