woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I understand Curling. That high.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
