3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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