OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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