you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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