I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
