Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
