Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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