I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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