My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My dick has a subreddit
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize