its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I intend to get homeless drunk
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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