I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
