How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
