I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The air taste purple.
Randomize
