I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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