At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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