Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They took my balls.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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