i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have aggressive nipples.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
